Rejection is not the original language of the Heart
yet it is known and can wound the sturdiest of hearts.
Loving deeply is its own gift.
Having your love received is its own fulfillment.
That love being rejected or abandoned can set one on a spiral of sadness.
Still raw within the first year of both my parents transitioning, only 3 months apart, some layers of grief began to peel away rather quickly. After an emotionally exhausting day, ending in heart ache, I ran into the protective, energetic arms of Cistus also known as Rock Rose…then soon after, I globed as much Guaiacwood on my heart as I could and smoothed the rest all over my face. I was seeking, and ultimately did find, emotional shelter in the wisdom of these two essential essences.
The spooky thing about layering a recent loss, upon unsung, submerged losses, is what can happen when you touch upon someone else’s highly charged and activated layers of fresh grief. Sometimes sparks fly! Often tears must flow!
This is what happened that day with my beloved 11 year old goddaughter who’s parents had recently divorced. Trying to just be a kid, barely hidden, grief of loosing her home, her idea of family & her sense of her place in her world had brooded itself into unabashed emotional pain. All day long it lashed out to "scratch someone’s eyeballs out", metaphorically speaking over and over again. She was practicing putting the blame of her pain onto something/someone else. And my heart gave way.
I remember her sincerity around the age of 2 when she wanted me to hit the wall for hurting her after accidentally running into it all by herself. Only now it was the whole foundation of her world that had collapsed from underneath her young life. And on this day, I was the closest beating heart that she could point her hurt at and because, I have loved her “no matter what”, I was the safe choice.
Like the wall, she didn’t expect me to lash back and I didn't. But I was not prepared to accept responsibility for choices her parent wasn't ready to take responsibility for. “I love you no matter what” might have reached its limits if I had not immediately soothed my gaping heart’s wounds with Cistus & Guaiacwood. Wounds that were rooted in the complexity of the transition journey our family had undertaken together.
Cistus/Rock Rose has a clean, penetrating scent which boldly announces that “I am a protector, here for you now!” She strengthens our physical immune system but also awakens our capacity for emotional and spiritual immunity. Just to smell Cistus calms my mind and emboldens my spirit.
Guaiacwood has a sweet, smokey scent and is a powerful Love teacher helping us when grief and deep losses swell in our hearts. She supports us during loss, struggles or times of stress and tension to help melt away worry and fear so that Love can come home. This Deva warms & moves energy from the inside out in order for the physical body to surrender to the spirit.
As I applied Guaiacwood over my heart, this thick and penetrative medicinal essence melted into me as I melted into her. The alchemy of Cistus’s strength & clarity with Guaiacwood’s deeply comforting warmth plunged me into the emotional shelter for which my cells were yearning, for longer than I realized.
I was then safe to sit with my deep rooted stories of loss, unfairness, being shunned, rejected or abandoned. There was now space between my old wounds and my nieces freshly gapping ones to see & feel into our souls agreement: to love and teach each other but not sacrifice the truth in our hearts. She needed my unconditional love to hold space for her hurt and I needed to release the ghosts of past pains to offer that level of love to myself as well as to her...and to demonstrate that I was not the cause of her pain...nor she mine. All I said to her is that, "One day I hope you will learn to separate who you know me to be and how you feel for me from what others want you to believe."
When my mother and father transitioned, for her, it was her Grandma & Grandpa who died. Her multiple heart wounds came in quick succession at a young age where as mine were accumulated over time. Yet a spark ignited a healing at the level we each needed.
So with time (and a little Guaiacwood and Violet on her heart and Sweet Birch on her back) & lots of deep rooted love the essences softened us up towards each other with renewed mutual appreciation, clearer boundaries and stronger, healthier emotional immune systems!
The complexities of Love and Loss or Heart Wrenching Grief can be met by these dear Devas with their complex chemistry and healing frequencies.
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